


I thought I lost you

by DerpyDots



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Christmas Eve, Christmas Party, Established Relationship, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me, Rebirth, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 14:25:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9076417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DerpyDots/pseuds/DerpyDots
Summary: Jisoo was certain that he had the perfect life. He found his soulmate and was set to marry him in a few months. He had a group of friends that felt more like brothers to him. Everything else felt like a plus. Who knew that all of it could slip through his fingers in just a second?





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually a remake story, the original had EXO's Sehun and Tao as the main characters and I did it for a contest about...3 years ago. The original is lurking around in my long-lost Tumblr.
> 
> Song recommendation: KREAM's ["Paper Heart"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8R-u3C3XwM/)

* * *

 

People always said to enjoy each day as if it was your last day on Earth, to appreciate the little things and not worry about everything else. Life was something that you would often take for granted just for it to vanish from your hands before you could even blink.

 

There were people who wondered what dying felt like. Was it painful? Was it just like going to sleep? Who knew, nobody ever lived to tell. But it wasn’t something one should think about every day, specially not when life seemed to go as perfect as it could be.

 

It was the day before Christmas when Jisoo woke up smiling, eyes still clouded with sleep but heart instantly warming as he caught the love of his life watching him wake up. “What?” He cleared his throat once his voice came out groggy from lack of use during the night. “Is there something on my face?” Jisoo tried to wipe his face with one of his hands only to be interrupted by the man lying beside him.

 

“Nothing. There’s nothing.” Hansol’s smooth voice send shivers down Jisoo’s spine. “Your face is perfect.” The younger male leaned in towards his partner. “You are perfect.” Jisoo’s smile just widened, heart beating even faster than before. “Stop being a grease ball and kiss me already.” Hansol let Jisoo pull him close enough for their lips to brush against each other, kiss never passing from a soft caress between their lips. They had to brush their teeth after all.

 

Something felt different that day, or maybe it was just Jisoo who felt different. He was smiling a lot more than usual, seeking skinship far more often than Hansol could remember. The older of the two would sneak up behind the younger and wrap his arms around his middle, pressing kisses to the back of his neck. “I just love you so much.” Was the answer Jisoo gave his boyfriend once he asked. Hansol didn’t question it further and just enjoyed the affection Jisoo showered him with.

 

Neither of the two had work that day, but they still had presents to wrap. It was a tradition in their groups of friends to get together, dress up like the gentlemen they were supposed to act like, and have dinner on Christmas’ Eve, just the 13 of them (or 14 now, since they included Yuna once she started dating SeokMin). It was a tradition that started ever since they could remember and one that had to last until the end. Jisoo cherished that night and he knew Hansol did as well.

 

A gift exchange was also a must, even though they all bought gifts for each other anyways. It was during last year’s gift exchange that Hansol proposed to Jisoo, “Whoever gets Jisoo hyung this year has to work their ass off to surpass Hansol’s gift from last year!” SoonYoung jokingly warned all of their friends when they got together to sort out the exchange.

 

“Babe.” Jisoo came back from his trance to turn and look at his boyfriend, chuckling instantly once he saw Hansol’s poor attempt at wrapping up a present. “Can you help me?” Jisoo was already fixing the wrapping paper before his younger boyfriend finished asking. Hansol sometimes wondered what he would do if Jisoo wasn’t there for him. “Where is my reward?” The older male propped himself in the table besides Hansol, eyes half lidded and a teasing smirk on his lips.

 

They spent the rest of the day fooling around and wrapping the last present they had to take for the night. “We should have gotten gift bags instead.” Hansol pouted as he cut tape for Jisoo. “You were the one who wanted to use this paper.” Jisoo teasingly remarked, finishing the gift with a silk ribbon on top. All done. “This is for…” The oldest of the two trailed off, waiting for his boyfriend to remind him the name. “That’s for SoonYoung hyung. I’m his Secret Santa this year.” Jisoo nodded as he scribbled their friend’s name on the card he pasted on the gift. “Now we are done. We should get ready now.” Jisoo stood up from his chair, stretching his arms above his head and waiting for Hansol to follow him.

 

“You go ahead babe. I have to call my parents first.” Hansol walked past his boyfriend, not without pressing his lips against Jisoo’s. The older male just nodded and smiled at Hansol’s back before going to their shared room to lay out they tuxedos for the night. He only got in the shower once he prepared both outfits and placed them on their queen sized bed.

 

Jisoo let the warm water relax his body, sighing as the droplets of water hit against his body. He was almost done showering when a pair of arms wrapped around him and a firm chest pressed at his back. Jisoo let his head fall back, heart already beating like crazy against his ribcage. “I thought I could give you an early birthday present.” Hansol’s words were muffled as he had his lips pressed on Jisoo’s neck, hands already making their way downwards, past his boyfriend’s hips. Jisoo turned around in the younger’s embrace, resting his forehead against Hansol’s. “You better not make us late; you know how JeongHan gets when people don’t arrive on time.” The oldest captured his boyfriend’s lips on a heated kiss that drowned out their laughter.

 

They somehow managed to get ready and pack up the presents in record time, buckling themselves up in their car as they made their way out of the apartment complex. “You didn’t make us late. I’m impressed.” Hansol chuckled at his boyfriend’s words, keeping his hands on the steering wheel and eyes on the road. “I’m a man of word, what can I say?” The couple laughed once more before they let the music from the radio station surround them. They were not people who had to talk to fill in the silence since both of them were pretty chill.

 

Jisoo looked as the lights flashed by, taking his time to admire the city outside. There was a layer of snow covering most of the sidewalks, people walking on the streets as they probably made their way to celebrate an early Christmas. But the outside view had nothing on Jisoo’s perfect view that was sitting beside him, driving them to see their friends.

 

Jisoo and Hansol had known each other thanks to the rest of their friends, instantly connecting once they found out that both of them came from the States. It wasn’t until a few years later, and a lot of convincing from Hansol, that they started dating. Jisoo was about to graduate from college and Hansol was barely starting, but they made it work and now here they were 5 years later and already engaged.

 

They both agreed on having their wedding in the States, probably in New York since California was too hot for their liking. Hansol wanted it to be sometime in August and Jisoo couldn’t agree more. It would be a small ceremony for just family and their close friends.

 

“Penny for your thoughts babe?” Hansol asked as he caught Jisoo looking at him once they stopped at a red light. The eldest shook his head, hand reaching for his fiancée’s. “Nothing. Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you.” Jisoo knew his eyes let Hansol know what he couldn’t express with words. “I couldn’t ask for anything more.” The couple just looked at each other, words not needed as they knew their feelings were mutual.

 

Hansol held Jisoo’s hand until the light turned green and he had to keep driving. They just had to cross the tunnel and take a right to successfully arrive at JeongHan and SeungCheol’s house. Jisoo didn’t take his eyes off from his fiancée, feeling like a teenager in love all over again.

 

Jisoo was certain that he had the perfect life. He found his soulmate and was set to marry him in a few months. He had a group of friends that felt more like brothers to him. Everything else felt like a plus. Who knew that all of it could slip through his fingers in just a second?

 

They had just entered the tunnel when Jisoo saw a fast approaching set of lights coming from Hansol’s side. He barely had time to call out his fiancée’s name before the other car collided against them, smashing their vehicle against the tunnel’s wall on Jisoo’s side.

 

Everything hurt. Even the slightest of movement hurt but Jisoo still managed to open his eyes. His ears were buzzing and his head hadn’t felt like that ever since he attended SeungCheol’s frat parties. He tried to move but he couldn’t, his body wasn’t responding and that’s when he remembered. They were driving to JeongHan’s party and a car hit them from the side. The car hit them on _Hansol’s_ side.

 

Hansol.

 

“Ba…babe…I can’t feel anything…” Jisoo held in the pain as he slowly turned his head to look at his boyfriend, tears instantly filling his eyes as he took in the state Hansol was in. “I can’t feel anything…” Hansol’s voice trembled with every word he spoke and it broke Jisoo’s heart.

 

Jisoo was no doctor, but he knew that Hansol was supposed to feel how hard the steering wheel was digging against his abdomen and that his neck had to support his head straight and not let it rest so much on his shoulder.

 

“Everything is going to be okay. I’m right here.” He didn’t know why his voice came as steady as it did, because he felt like a complete mess. “Just look at me Hansol. Keep looking at me.” Jisoo had seen his fair share of medical series to know that you should keep talking to stay awake in situations like this. “What did you get for SeungKwan this year? I want you to tell me about it.” Jisoo felt tears stream down his face even as he tried to remain composed for Hansol. “Come on, baby. Do it.”

 

Hansol’s eyes remained focused on his fiancée’s, mouth opening and closing before he managed to answer. “I got him a scarf. He said he had to keep himself warm this winter.” Jisoo smiled as best as he could with hoe bad his head was pounding. “What else? What did you get for Chan?” Jisoo felt a warmness dripping down the side of his head that collided against his window, but he tried not to mind it since his priority was to keep Hansol awake.

 

“Chan…the sweater he saw when we went shopping together.” Hansol smiled, breaking Jisoo’s heart even more. “I bought one for me too.” The couple kept their little conversation going, Jisoo asking questions that Hansol answered, but the younger male slowly drifted off with every passing second.

 

“Babe…I’m sleepy…” Hansol’s eyes were half closed by now and he was having a hard time breathing, Jisoo wasn’t trying to keep his tears from falling now. “No, keep talking. You can’t sleep right now.” He had already asked Hansol about the presents he got for their friends and now he had to ask about anything else. Anything to keep Hansol awake.

 

“Tell me the name of Yuna and SeokMin’s baby. You remember her, right? You are her favorite uncle.” Jisoo reached his hand towards Hansol’s, shaky fingers brushing against slightly bloodied ones. “Answer me, Hansol!”

 

“Mina…the baby’s name is Mina…” Hansol’s voice was softer than before, but Jisoo could still hear him clearly. “That’s right! When was she born?” Jisoo wished that Hansol felt how he was caressing his hand, the same he always did when his young fiancée got stressed. “When is Mina’s birthday?”

 

“August 25th…” Jisoo nodded his head and regretted it instantly, pain reaching every part of his body. “That’s…correct.” The eldest had trouble answering as a new wave of pain flooded his entire body. “Remember when you said you wanted to have a kid together?” Jisoo’s heart gave a painful throb as he himself asked the question, Hansol’s eyes closing completely at times.

 

“I thought you were joking at first…but-“ “But I was serious about it.” Hansol was practically whispering by now, unaware of his boyfriend’s tear stricken face. “You were. You still are.” Jisoo’s voice came out broken, but he had to continue talking. “Once we get married we’ll start looking for a baby to adopt. Together…as a family.” Red and blue lights caught Jisoo’s eye, they were not close yet but he could hear the sirens above the buzzing in his ears.

 

“We have to stay together Hansol…please. Stay with me.” Hansol had opened his eyes a tad bit more, but he wasn’t answering. “You have to stay with me. Please.” The youngest was still breathing, if the rise and fall of his chest was anything to go by. “Hansol…stay…” Jisoo saw the lights approaching just as Hansol closed his eyes once more, chest rising before he let out a deep breath.

 

“Hansol?...Hansol… _HANSOL_!”

 

 

 

\---

 

White, that was the only thing he saw as soon as he opened his eyes once again. White walls, white flooring, everything white. It made him feel at ease. Hansol looked around, watching as different people all clad in white walked while facing front, what were they following? Where are they going?

 

“Mister, are you lost?” Hansol looked down as he heard a sweet voice talking to him, finding a little girl staring up at him. She was wearing a white gown and her black hair almost reached her little waist. Hansol didn’t know what to say, he wasn’t sure where he was but he didn’t feel scared. “Are you waiting for someone?” The little girl tilted her head to the side, eyes wide with curiosity.

 

_Jisoo_

 

“I am. But…” Hansol looked around once more, people walking beside them, all of them smiling. “I don’t know where he is.” As soon as the words left his mouth Hansol felt a sudden sadness overcome him, eyes glistening up in tears. He felt a little hand grasping his index finger, making him look down.

 

“Don’t worry mister, I’ll help you find your person.” The little girl smiled up at him and it reminded Hansol of his little sister. He enveloped the girl’s hand with his, feeling himself calm down as he did so. They started walking, but they didn’t follow everyone else, they walked in every other direction except for the front.

 

Hansol wanted to know where they were, so he asked the little girl if she knew. “My mommy said that this is the place where my grandma went once she went to sleep and never woke up. She said that I shouldn’t be scared to come here.” Hansol clenched his hand tighter around the little girl’s once he realized where they were. “But I’ll miss my friends from the hospital, I hope I can see them when they come here!” Hansol teared up as the girl innocently smiled, but he admired how strong she was. “I’m sure you will. In the meantime, I can be your friend.” He reassured her, ruffling her long locks with his free hand.

 

 

\--

 

Several people worked open the car’s door, pulling Hansol away from him. He had cried out his name, Hansol’s hand falling limp once they made Jisoo let go. They took him out next, placing him on a stretcher and into an ambulance. People kept talking all around him but Jisoo didn’t pay any attention, his eyes fixed on the paramedics as they covered Hansol’s body. His whole body hurt, but his heart was hurting even more.

 

The ambulance took off and the paramedics monitored Jisoo’s vital signs as they reached the hospital. Jisoo cried the entire ride, tears soaking up his bruised face. He was wheeled into the E.R, catching a glimpse of the Christmas decorations around the place.

 

Jisoo wondered how their friend would react once they got the news. Will JeongHan be mad that they didn’t get there on time? Will SoonYoung be upset that he didn’t get a present in the exchange? There were many questions that Jisoo could come up with, but neither of those mattered now that he felt a sudden calmness enveloping him as he was wheeled towards a blinding light.

 

 

\--

 

“Mister, do you remember how you got here?” The little girl asked after a while, hand still grasping Hansol’s as they kept searching, walking without a rest. Hansol pondered on what to say because he couldn’t recall how exactly he came here. He remembered that that day started with Jisoo’s beautiful smile directed at him and that they had spent all day together. “I was going to a party with my fiancée…but I don’t remember anything else.” The girl pouted as she listened to him, her cute face bringing a smile to Hansol’s lips.

 

The two of them wandered around for what felt like hours but could probably be just a few minutes. They never saw the same people even if they managed to walk in circles and Hansol started to wonder if he could ever find Jisoo, or if he was going to be there at all.

 

“Hansol…”

 

Said boy turned around once he heard his name being called by a voice he was all too familiar with. He found himself face to face with the love of his life, dressed up in all white, smile blinding and eyes twinkling with the purest happiness he had ever felt. Hansol looked down to where the little girl had been. “It’s him! We found him!” The little girl giggled, waving at Jisoo before she let her hand go. “I’m going to go now, mister. I hear my grandma calling for me!” She ran off before any of the two could stop her, watching her long locks flowing behind her as she ran.

 

Hansol looked over at his fiancée once again, smile widening as he saw Jisoo offering his hand to him. “Ready to go now?” The younger male walked towards his boyfriend, resting his forehead against the other once he was close enough. “I’m ready.”

 

The couple walked hand in hand, unsure of where they’ll be going but they were not scared. They had each other and that was all that mattered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

\--

 

“Doogi wait! Come here!” He kept running after his little dog, chasing him all over the park with the scorching summer Sun beating him down, New York was going through a heat wave recently. He had gone out with his little mixed breed dog to take a relaxing walk in the park, but he had forgotten his little pup was a demon when he was outside. A very fast little demon.

 

Fortunately, his dog stopped a few meters ahead to sniff at another pup’s tail. He was already panting and sweating, thanking that his chasing had already came to an end.

 

“Hey man, is this fella yours?” His little dog was being petted by the other dog’s owner and he hurried to clasp the leash to Doogi’s collar before answering. “Yeah. Sorry for the inconvenience…” His voice trailed off as he looked over at the stranger. At the very handsome stranger.

 

The stranger smiled at him, reaching out his hand. “My name’s Vernon.” He stared at the other boy -Vernon- for a beat too long before he remembered his manners, taking Vernon’s hand in a handshake.

 

“Nice to meet you. I’m Joshua.”

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be published before Christmas...guess that didn't happen! Anyways, thank you so much for reading this. I'm not super into angst but I hope you liked it and I'm so sorry for killing these two beautiful boys ;; but they managed to be together once again <3
> 
> Btw, I had to squeeze in that little bit of SeokJu <3 I'm DK+Yuju trash. 
> 
> Comments, kudos and bookmarks are truly appreciated! <3 Hope to see you soon!


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